Can I force a webhook to be 1.2?
I don't think you can force it on the client side, but that doesn't really matter if it can't successfully establish 1.2 when offered. In my tests it did not work. You should be able to find a test server that only supports 1.2 and see for yourself.
Also, I think your provider I getting a bit ahead of the curve here. They could lose customers this way.